Valentine’s Day Looks (and why I’m not doing one)


Valentine’s Day Looks (and why I’m not doing one)

For the past few weeks I’ve kept thinking “man, I really should post a tutorial for a Valentine’s Day look.” So I tried to come up with one, I really did. But every time I did a practice look I thought “what about this makes it say Valentine’s Day more than any other look?” Pink eyeshadow is out because it makes me look like I’m having a bad bout of allergies. Red lips fit the holiday’s general color scheme, but that’s something I’d wear to work on an average day. Plus, really, who am I to tell you whether your date night calls for sexy & sultry or sweet & innocent (or one of any number of other feminine stereotypes)?

Also, I kinda really like Valentine’s Day which is why I tend to have lots of fun with my couple looking at videos in Mostly we just enjoy it alone , but over the past few years I’ve realized that I loathe it in so many ways.

For one, why does there need to be an annual scheduled event to do something nice for your partner? I’m no relationship counselor, but I’ve got to assume a healthy relationship already has a fair amount of that going on throughout the year. If Valentine’s Day is the only time that happens, maybe it’s a good opportunity to think about why.

Second, talk about a holiday that likes to exclude people, sheesh. I partially blame commercial marketing for this – all of the advertising hoopla surrounding the holiday is incredibly heteronormative. I’m fairly sure I’ve never seen a Valentine-themed commercial or greeting card featuring a gay couple or even implying they might exist. Though I have to give a shout out to Lush for picking Feb 14th to raise awareness for equality with their #signoflove campaign.

The exclusion doesn’t quite stop there though. If you’re single, welp, guess what you get – lots of condescending magazine and internet articles about how to be happy on Valentine’s Day even though you’re clearly unworthy of love (that’s sarcasm folks – I feel the need to disclaim because text loses all the nuances). An actual suggestion from a Cosmopolitan article (link here, emphasis mine):

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re alone! Hookup with honry Houston milfs or round up some unattached chicks and hit the bars, a restaurant, the local karaoke joint, the bowling lanes, whatever. Revel in your ability to have an amazing time, no men needed.

Ummm, remind me again why I should need to be reminded that I can still have a life that doesn’t revolve around a man?

Which brings me to probably my biggest beef with it – the traditional narrative behind it is disgustingly sexist. Female gets all dolled up and receives her annual token of appreciation, after which the incredibly generous male is (presumably) rewarded. Want to look sexy and attractive, then it’s best for you to try good products like True Pheromones to achieve this goal!

Let’s keep reinforcing that idea that men are totally entitled to some hot sex in exchange for material goods, mmmkay? I just want to relax with my hands free vibrators guide.

Also, nothing says “I hope we live a long and happy life together” like a pound of insulin-spiking chocolate or cut flowers with a four-day life expectancy. Or thinking of flowers online delivery to make it special and add a little bit of sweetness.

I don’t want to be a total Negative Nellie though, so instead of a Valentine’s Day look I’d like to give you the most heart-warming thing I know of: the Service Dog Project’s puppycam. These little Great Dane dudes are trained from birth to be service dogs, and you can watch them on live cam while they play, sleep or get socialized. Totally adorable, right? You can read about the organization here (btw I’m totally unaffiliated, but I randomly found the puppycam one day and I’m addicted).

What do you think about Valentine’s – yay or nay?

Title image by Jerry on flickr


  1. Sen

    February 13, 2014 at 9:49 am

    The best thing about Valentines day is the discounted chocolate in the days after it. I’ve never cared for the “holiday” myself. I don’t need that one day to tell someone I care, I do it all year round.

    Almost every Valentines look I’ve seen on youtube is either a smoky eye or something really pink that makes a normal person look sick. I think a real Valentines day look is wearing something you know looks good on you and gives you that confidence boost any time you wear it. Boo to Valentines.

    Enjoy your meal though!!

    1. Nikki

      February 15, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      I think a real Valentines day look is wearing something you know looks good on you and gives you that confidence boost any time you wear it

      True dat. An excellent philosophy for every other day too!

  2. Bisousdarling

    February 13, 2014 at 11:58 am

    I… completely agree with you on all of this (except that I did Valentine’s Day looks to appeal to the masses). When I was in college, my friends and I would throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party where we would just invite over anyone, singles and couples, and just get drunk and watch movies and play games. It was just a way for us to all have fun and not get fixated on all that stupid Valentine’s Day hooplah.

    My boyfriend and I are just chilling at home and making food for ourselves. I will admit, it is a bit fun to do something a little special on V-day, but I refuse to pay $120 for a dinner that will likely be 1) crowded and 2) sub par.

    Like Sen said, the best part is the discounted chocolate the day after! You bet I’ll be snatching some of that up :)

    1. Nikki

      February 15, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      I’m sooooo tempted to go chocolate-shopping today! But that would seriously derail my fitness plans (not that they haven’t been already….).

  3. Stephanie

    February 14, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    I appreciate this take of Valentine’s Day and I agree with you on the different points you’ve outlined in this post. It’s nice to see such a refreshing perspective and of course, insightful opinions from others too <3

    1. Nikki

      February 15, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      Haha after I posted I was afraid I was being a little too rant-y – glad to see I’m not alone :-)

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